“But how do you get out?”

When you reach the waiting area, use the index digit to
apply pressure to the round illuminated apparatus bearing the triangular
symbol. A beep indicates impending arrival. Enter between the parting panels
without dawdling on their track. During the ascent, eye contact and verbal
exchange may be discouraged or met with coldness. Refrain from passing gas
until your disembarkment is imminent.

Does the previous paragraph sound slightly nonsensical? If
so, mission accomplished. I’m trying to simulate what I imagine it feels like
for someone who has no electricity and whose house consists of four mud-brick
walls, a tin roof, and two rooms each the size of a medium bathroom, to try to
understand what it’s like to ride an elevator. The more I tried to explain how
you press a button and the moving box knows which floor you’re on and comes to
pick you up, and how it travels on cables up and down a hole in the middle of
the building, the more ridiculous it seemed. But my friend was still very
curious about it, and asked questions like, “how do you get off? Do you have to
jump?” after which we explained that it goes level with the floor so you can
just walk off. I didn’t even tell her yet about jumping when the elevator starts
to go down, or the reasons you shouldn’t fart when you’re in one with other
people. That will be for another day.