The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Mozambique: Chapas, Boleias, and Other Alternatives to Teletransportation

As many of you know, I frequently occupy myself by pondering the possibilities and philosophical dilemmas of teletransportation. But until it is resolved, invented, tested, and reliable, I need to find other ways of getting around. Here are some options I have in this country:

Chapa: imagine a mini-van. Now imagine that the bucket seats have been replaced with a 5 rows of bench seats. Now stuff 29.8 people inside, don’t worry about their level of comfort, and just when you thought there was no room even for a chicken, it stops to pick up another three human beings.

Boleia: Getting a “ride.” Basically just hitch-hiking, but one of the most comfortable, fastest, and cheapest ways to travel. You won’t have anyone’s armpit in your face or baby on your lap – you might even have your own seat – they don’t stop every 3 minutes to pick someone up, and sometimes they don’t charge you. And you meet interesting people. It’s a win-win-win-win-win situation.

The boleia dance, patented by Mac and Ariel (front 2 volunteers)

Open-back pick-up truck: A mix between a boleia and a chapa. Similar to a chapa in that you have to pay, similar to a boleia in that there is no official system for deciding where they are going to go and what time one will pass by. The advantage over a chapa is that you have fresh air blowing in your face, instead of stale air that someone has breathed out.

Bicicleta: Luckily, the chain on my bike broke within the first kilometer of riding it home from the store where I bought it, and not in the 5^th or 14^th kilometer. There are no gears on these bikes; just you and your leg muscles straining to carry you and how ever many other people you are carrying on the back or handlebars up the hill. They sometimes have brakes.

Passear: verb, to go for a walk; meander. The passear pace is one that you may have never experienced if you grew up in the United States. You are moving forward – but only just barely. For a true passear, hesitate slightly before putting each foot down. If you feel like you’re moving in slow motion, or perhaps even backwards, and you lose your balance because you’re moving so slowly, then you’re doing it right. Once every couple minutes, pause to look at the scenery.