Ask Estefania – an Advice Column for American Females Living and Working in Rural Mozambique

Dear Estefania,

I exercise every day, don’t snack between meals, rarely eat sweets, and still gained fifteen pounds. Sometimes people walk up to me and say, “wow, you have gotten so fat!” What should I do?

~Promising Paunch

Dear Promising Paunch,

If people tell you it looks good, just go with it.

~Estefania

Dear Estafania,

I thought I was making a friend, but it turns out they just wanted to ask for my groceries.

Moody Market-Goer

Dear Moody Market-Goer,

There are seven billion people in the world. Make another friend.

~Estefania

Dear Estefania,

Many people have proposed to me. How can I tell if it’s true love?

~Starry-Eyed

Dear Starry-Eyed,

By the number of minutes they have know you, and whether they use the words “American” or “white” in the proposal.

~Estefania

Dear Estefania,

It takes hours to hand-wash clothes, and by the time I’m finished, my back is aching and the skin on my fingers is scraped off.

~Knuckles Rubbed Raw

Dear Knuckles Rubbed Raw,

Stop complaining and suck it up. What do you think people did before washing machines?

~Estefania

Dear Estefania,

The toilet needs a lot of water to flush, and I have to carry all my water from the pump. What is it that I do do?

~Compressed Neck

Dear Compressed Neck,

Dig a pit latrine! Your thighs will get a workout from all the squatting, you can take moonlit strolls for fresh air and to see the stars if you have to pee in the middle of the night, and you can use the opportunity to overcome your disgust of cockroaches! And it will cut back the amount of water you have to carry by 50%.

~Estefania

* * *

Thanks to all who submitted their problems, they were extremely interesting and problematic. Any time I need some tough love, I just complain to Estefania, and I get immediate results, in the form of realizing how silly I sound.

Diapers

Dedicated to Gramma-Wamma-Lamma Bing Bong

It is not scientifically proven, but accepted as fact that the most frequent topic of conversation among Peace Corps volunteers is…

...poop.

Why? It’s something everyone has to do every day, sometimes multiple times a day, and when you’re in a different place, you wonder whether the rules/bathrooms/jokes are different. Poop is not usually talked about in public, so when volunteers are together, we have to get it all out (the words, I mean). Poop is a way of telling if your body is doing ok, and often in the Peace Corps, it’s not.

So the following doubt, presented by my most loyal blog-post-commenter, was a most welcome interrogation.

Question: Do babies wear diapers?

Good question. I wondered that myself for a long time. It depends on the place. In the cities, people tend to use more things that we are used to as Americans, like diapers, strollers and bottles. In Nauela, I don’t think there’s a single disposable diaper. I have seen babies wearing cloth diapers, attached with a small Y-shaped bendy plastic apparatus  near the crotch, with a clip at each end to hold all the cloth together. Some babies have plastic underwear-pants that they wear outside the cloth diaper to keep everything from getting wet. Some babies just don’t wear diapers. Most babies are carried on the mom’s or sister’s or aunt’s or cousin’s or someone female’s back, and people who know the baby well can feel the movements of the baby and know he or she wants to pee or poop, in order to anticipate it and move the baby to some nearby bushes to keep from getting soiled. Sometimes they just get soiled.

So always remember what the wise Anne Cipriano once said: “When in doubt, do it!”

Introducing Curious George to Nauela - Day 1

Dear Beloved Readers Who Seem Invisible Because You Don't Leave Comments But I Know You're There,

The Library Project is off the ground...literally! Thank you so much to everyone who donated - we didn't receive the funds until every last spoonful of cement was monetarily covered, so please know that every little bit helped. Today officially marks the first day of the first step of the first stage of the process. Students came to the school (on a Saturday) with empty sacks and buckets, walked to the river, filled their sacks and buckets with sand, then came back and deposited the sand at the school. Apparently the sand is necessary for construction...obviously I am not a construction worker. Good thing everyone builds their own houses here so they know what they're doing, or so they say. The pile started off small, and then grew and grew and grew...

A mountain of sand - What Would Curious George Do?